Dec 15, 2008

The Final Countdown

It's almost 3am in the morning. I was going through some reading when I notice an email notification from my classmate, Hui Hsien. I usually do not open emails that content nothing useful, particularly contain pictures and stories that passed around the globe. But this is different, I dunno why, my fingers automatically direct to the touch pad and click to open up the email entitled "You guys are special to me :P".

The story managed to get hold of my interest and almost bring me to tears.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in
Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

Din I said almost. It just bring me to think... Just few more weeks... This semester is going to be OVER. And this is the final semester of our final years. Whether or not I'm going to join most of them to UK does not really matter now. What I know is, the time for me to be with them is getting shorter.

If I'm to be sitting with my classmates at the mamak stall right now, then I shall hear voices like these:

"No worries la... when we worked we can find time to meet up."
"Haiya, don't think so much la."
"We sure can make up something. Gathering or whatever."
"Chill la... Enjoy the moment that we have now."

Aha... the last sentence is the one I usually says. But the true fact is that I do really care.

Some 4 years, some 3 years, some 2 years, some 1 years, some few months... No matter how long I really know every single of them, the fact will remain.
The fact is that, they are the people who made me who I am this moment.
They are the people who build my path of life as I walk forward. Is just the matter of how small or how big the impact is along the way. So, the period of me knowing them does not matter to me.

After this, everyone will be leading their own path. Who all of us will be then? How we gonna lead our next step of life? No one knows. One thing I'm VERY SURE of is that, things will never be the same anymore. UNLESS, we really make our own initiatives.

But how many are willing, or will time permit it or will the work load and stress permit it?

No one knows what happen the next second.

This is my fav sentence too.

How long can our friendship goes?
How long can we keep in touch?
And how long will we live to enjoy it?

Can you see the time that I'm questioning now?

No matter what the questions are, it can never be answered now. Not till the time come.

Every second there are many things that comes in and out of my life whether I realise it or not. Every time I will react differently to different situation. So most of the time, every single steps i make, it does occur in my mind if I do this or do that to that particular someone, will they like it or will it make them hate me. So, it means the clear conscience and guilty conscience of mine haunt me most of the time.
And sometimes, I'm not aware of what I'm doing. Sometimes, feeling is much stronger than my conscience.
And sometimes, I DON'T THINK!
I may create many people out there that hate me without any of my intention at all. I just dunno.

But do all these really matters? I do not know. Is up to everyone who wanna judge me.
Whether you wanna judge me or not?
How you gonna judge me?

One thing for sure is that I'm trying my very best to do whatever it is to make people happy. That's me, Ai Yin!

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