May 30, 2010

Sour Milk

The grey clouds starts to move in.
The stars and moon shine behind it, is nevertheless as usual hidden.
The hopes for the rain to fall is undeniably the wish of everyone.
With the temperature that keep on rising due to our own cause,
Makes us hope for miracle to happen which can cool down our mother earth.
But we know it will never happen.
Our gaze for this miracle is just a false hope that we put for ourselves where all of us are foolishly lying to ourselves.
Cause we know it will never stop rising and affect many parts of every living creature on this land we once call it beautiful.
Why do we hope for impossible miracle?
We know we need to do something about it.
But do you really care.
Stop putting up posters to tell us save the mother nature.
Stop giving flyer to passer-by in shopping centre to save the endangered animals.
Stop printing on shirts to create awareness to save the earth.
Cause all of us take it as a mask to show that we care.
But down deep in us, we know better.
We just join it for fun and we are just N. A. T. O .
Don't believe? Let me ask you;

Do you really make and effort to recycle other than stacking those old and used papers?
For these question, yes there are but only a handful. Even if there are recycle bins stating the items with the cute pictures there, there are still people who don't seem to care about it. They just close their eyes and throw it I guess, or, worst still, there are three (3) bins in a row. Don't tell me you are not aware it is a recycle bin and don't tell me you don't understand the words. Sorry to say but I don't mean to discriminate, if you don't know how to read, there are pictures to show you which bin for which material of rubbish. Unless you're blind. But if you can see, then you can see but you're blind. How ridiculous it is.

What's the purpose of you keeping all the newspapers and stack it nicely at one corner?
How many are willing to make an effort to keep all these papers if not for the sake of money. You don't have to tell me. Keep to yourself. You know it better. Everyday, we spend minimal RM 1.20 for many pieces of papers. If not because of the "OLD NEWSPAPERS" system, I believe, our society will treat it as a junk and just dump it into the anything-bins. So, thank for the existence of this system. Without it, the dooms day might be nearer than we have now.

By these two sample, we can see how much effort our society has put it into in make this earth a better living place. Sometimes, we will think;

Ceh, if I'm the only one doing it, it makes not much difference. So why must I bother.

You might be laughing reading this statement. But because of how this society has been brought up, the money that we put into in saving the earth comes to a NULL EFFORT. It is just like chucking the money into the bin. Or sea. NO!!! Worst than that. Chucking into bin or sea, still we can make someone's life better. Well, maybe I shall say, CHUCK it into FIRE, which is right to the situation right not. Effort does not come to nothing only but make matters worst. (FIRE-Pollution-HOT). Why you ask? Don't we used a lot of papers to do proposal, bunting, post ad on newspapers, posters and bla bla bla... you name it.

As I post this, I myself is a sample of the human creature that NATO about saving the earth. (But I know and which item to goes to in recycle bin).
So it keeps me wonder, when will we really go out and make a real effort to make this earth a better world to live in?
Or maybe this day will not come.
We will then regret it when the disasters attack and take the live of our love ones.
Maybe by that time, there is not turning back.
It will be the day,

Apr 17, 2010


People tell me to let go, but my heart just tell me no,
For I'm still hoping for miracles to happen.
But hopes seems dim,
But on the other hand,
I still never stop to hope.
My mind just the core of everything, never stop replay those bad memories,
Flipping every scene just like a drama movie,
Repeat the every hurtful sentences just like a record,
The mind is just as stubborn as my character,
It just wont let me stop recall those moments.

My heart still feel the slit of words through and through,
But it never cares to close its wound,
It just let the salt come into it every now and then.
Which brings matter worst.
The heart too is just as stubborn as my mind.
Never stop to give a friend a heart of care.

With the pain torturing the heart and mind,
Tears have been rolling endlessly for months,
And now it is running out tears.
The stubbornness of the eyes is just as stubborn as the heart.

The worst is the stubbornness in myself,
For letting all these happening,
And I just let it be.
People say I just care too much,
I believe so too,
Cause I'm just to stubborn not to stop hoping for a spark of miracles to patch up the shattered relationship.
Stubbornness is all I have to hold all these for so long.
I guess, this will last longer then all of us expected.
Well, what can I say, it is all because of my Stubbornness...

Feb 17, 2010

Jan 8, 2010

Nov 20, 2009

I Am Missing You

Knock, knock, knock...
I still hold tight to my blanket. Ignoring the noise.
Then, a hand touch my shoulder.
Shaking me softly,
Calling out my name: Ai Yin, Ai Yin.. Wake up. It's late.
Reluctantly I opened up my eyes. It is 8am. The room is still dark.
The curtain that I have totally block all the morning sunlight.
One thing it is good, cause, during summer, the sun rises as early as 4.30am.
Who woke me up? I dunno. What I know is I am late for class.
Waking up late has become my habit cause I sleep very late.
The tiredness has made me being insensitive to my mobile phone alarm.
I miss that... Not about being late.. I actually miss cuddling under the DUVET!!!
Malaysia where can use the duvet. I'll be certified dead by the doc for being over-steam.

EH!!! Time for class la... Need to walked at least 30mins for first-timer to John Foster. When you train yourself you will walk faster (15mins). Ah... play fast beat songs from your MP3, you will walk faster. If u follow the beat. Eh, but I don't miss climbing up the hill. I miss walking only. If Malaysia, I won't miss it. The weather so different. Summer also only 10-20 Celcius and can go lower during the night. I MISS THE WEATHER.

As the time pass, the night time arrives. However, the moon is just to lazy to take in her shift during the summer. The Moon will only appear around 8-9pm. That is to get a full dark sky.
Squatting down, look at the dead, makes me think whether I should could the fella to eat. Open the top, wonder who to chop today. Ishk.. what are you thinking off? I'm talking about the frozen food and vegetables la... Wonder what to cook for dinner. The most unpopular dish is the sausage. Not hot dog. IS SAUSAGE. Some people didn't know the difference. Never mind, go and Google and see. I miss Chop chop (hahaha.. sounds so Mr. Andrew Upton), Boil Boil, Cook Cook... I miss thinking of inventing new food. I MISS COOKING WITH MY BELOVED FRIENDS!
Elze, Trini, Stephy, Cheryl, Tammy. Eh... Now onli I realise.. all of them got english name, but I don't.

Eh.... The clock is ticking. Not clock, the number on my digital watch is jumping accendingly. By the time chit-chat, time to watch Big Brother Season 10. wah.. that is the silliest program I have ever watch. Put few sarcastic people inside a house and Jail them up. Fuyoh... What to do. For assignment purpose. Privacy Intrusion. Ada kissing, ada naked, ada homo.. Kalau Finas move to UK, habis all that scene kena ban. Pastu, tengok apa then? Nothing interesting d. Tapi naked tu ada limit la. Don't make ur imagination goes wild now, guys! However, in the end, we miss the LAST EPISODE! Know the winner is the big boobs lady, porn star, Sophie... UK porn mag sure to have her inside. Surprisingly most of the Big Bro ladies will turn out to be a porn star in the UK mag.

Never mind, after watching, go back to our own room. Tell you what, I cannot sit still one. Unless when I am emo, I am stress, I watch movie.... If not... Here I come, visiting my little neighbourhood (Flat 83). Knock, knock, knock... Hello.. "tim ah" "kau tim meh ah?" How to do ah? eh tell you that day I saw...... kissing ..... touching.... hugging.... slapping.... (gossip girls). wahahaha... that's what girls do. I MISS MY 83.5 the most. Just situated right opposite the kitchen. That's why everytime eening nap, I will usually be awaken by the smell of food. Hahaha...

Haiya.. late ad.. tomorrow need to work. Go angkat Spritzer Mineral Water for production. K la... Will contimue next time. I wanna sleep d...
Good night...
I will always miss you (all the above, temasuk barang barang, manusia, dan friendship)
I will keep it safely for nyanyuk usage.

Nov 11, 2009

$$$Money Not Enough$$$

Age: 0-12 years old
Worry: Mummy & Dady don't love you.
Price for that: Positive Infinity (money not a problem)

Age: 13-17 years old
Worry: How to look more mature & How to tackle opposite sex
Price for that: Buy facial products, nice clothes, ask Daddy Mummy to buy handphone (not to call Daddy Mummy, call friends and BF/GF. So good, parents pay for u to date.) (money still enough)

Age: 18- 24 years old (still studying and rent a room)
Worry: Beauty, Attraction, Cetificate, Assignments, Social, Independence (No more Mummy Daddy to stay with u, ji gei chap sang).
Price for that: Beauty products, public transport, worst still sendiri drive - Petronas, Shell, BP, etc.., Green Box, Luna Bar, clothes, phone credit, dating, "Chap Fan", Coke, groceries, Genting, kai-kai, photocopy, things for assignments, house rental, utilities bill, "beat chicken" and etc. (money very tight)

Age: 25-30 years old (kerja and dating, pre-proposal of "kit fan")
Worry: post grad- find job, salary, and all the above; found job- wanna buy car, buy house, saving; stabil- mau :sign long-term agreement a.k.a kahwin.
Price for that: "mou ngan tai a.k.a no eyes see. too many digits and zerosssss.
(Donald Trump Song: money, money, money, MONEY!)

Age: 31- 60 years old (family and work)
Worry: Anak macam siapa, anak= evil or angel, work stress, family stress, money tight, susu tepung, diapers, ekonomi meleset, anak sakit, anak mau belajar, telinga anak mula tebal, family finance, family matter, banyak matter.
Price to pay: Pay with UBAN. Uncountable. that's why when old ad rambut all pun putih.
(Where to get more money)

Age: 61 until you say bye bye
Worry: Money not enough till the day you say SAYONARA, anak tak mau u, buka akaun for "hari no more worries".
Price to pay: Buku simpanan ada wang lagi tak, KWSP ada duit lagi tak, anak you ada bagi duit, mau mati pun mesti ada duit beli tanah untuk dirikan you punya "bunglow" atau you mau sewa "flat".

$$$ Sampai Mau Mati Pun Money Not Enough $$$

Nov 9, 2009

White Lies

Hi everyone! It's been awhile since the last time I touch my blog.
Well, I wasn't in the mood to blog at that time and I was lazy too.
Another thing is, I was caught on the conviction of telling WHITE LIES.
Sometimes, it is real hard to be ones friend. Words are the most powerful weapon.
Words look blunt, don't they?
BUT words can be as shard as knife.
It can really leave a deep scar and it can really hurt one's heart.

People say true friends are the one who really hurt you.
What are true friends to me then? To me honesty is priority.
But, after going through much, being honest with your friend doesn't come to any good.
It makes matter worst sometimes.
And bcause of honesty, trust is taken off.
Losing a trust of a true friend to me is equivalent to 'total lost' of a friend.
So. can we really hurt a true friend then?

Hence, of course, white lies is what is needed to save it.
But, have you thought about it?
What if the true friend that involved caught you telling lies.
All he/she knows is that you are not being honest as you should be.
They don't even give a damn what's the reason behind the creation of white lies.
At this point, explanation comes to nothing.
Because of white lies (which is suppose to be good) cause a havoc in the relation.

What I am saying here, doesn't only apply in friendship. It is in every relationship.
Love, family, brothers and sisters, boss and you, and etc...
Hence, sometimes because of white lies, it can make you look like a bad person.
But is it really that way?
Allah, Jesus, Buddha, every prophets, every religion in the world teach us not to tell lies aren't they?
Lies are bad, they say.
But there is one thing I know. Buddhism thought me that if they lie if for good purpose, then you can tell one.
However, still, although to you is a good purpose, can the other sees it?

So how good can a white lies be?
White Lies might only be good if one understands why you are saying it.
But how many can understand the White Lies?
How many are willing to accept the White Lies?
Can you accept one?
A White Lies.

Jul 26, 2009

A Nightmare

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Someone please wake me from this nightmare and tell me that this did not happen in my country and that Teoh Beng Hock is safe at home with his family.

-yasmin ahmad-

This is posted in Yasmin's blog named The Storyteller, Part 2.

Today upon receiving the news, I wish to say the same statement...

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare and tell me that this did not happen in my country's filmmaking industry and Yasmin Ahmad is safe at home with her family.

Jun 22, 2009

Rewind: The First Day (29th May 2009)

On 29th May 2009...

By 7.30am (UK time zone), we reached the Manchester Airport. It wasn't a smooth ending of the journey. Cause, one of the handle broke when we went to collect the lugage. No insurance for it unless I bought one. Well, I never buy one. So forget it. When we were reaching the exit point, seniors are out there to welcome us. I'm one of us who pushed the trolley. Not an easy pushed. The pathway surface is not flat. And the trolley is heavy. Phew... Luckily some guys come and help. Reached there ad sweat... Haiz... But never mind.

I hopped into the first shuttle. All of us around 40 cramped into it with our hand lugage. Not air-conditioned. Felt suffocated a little. But when the journey starts, then it's alrite.

Vijay, hmm... one of the senior showed us the accommodation list. Which apartment we are located. How disappointing it is. The excitement suddenly felt like being flushed down. All 6 of us are totally seperated.

Seperated never mind, then we realised something wrong with the list. We are Mass Comm students, why some of us are the only flower surrounded by grass? All others (5) are commerce and one of us being the only Mass Comm. Once we reached the "Living Liberty" Atlantic Point, we went to made a fuss about it. We appeal to be together as we planned. But then we were told that we were not guranteed to stay together when we submit our list.
Alrite, I'm fine with this.
But looked at the list, almost all Advanced Broadcast students (exccept those who already got 6 members they are not seperated. Only those with 5) are seperated and are located individually to different places.
Again, they gave the same reason. But how is this applicable. And you tell me these people might not do it intentionally? Come on, how can this be coincidental? Huh?
Ask our seniors to explain to us. Telling us that they can't changed us or ask us to exchanged with other apartment. But hey, how to change? 1 VS 5. Who wanna change?

So, tears come into scene. Well, I guess it works a little. Ahem.. I din broke into tears though.

What to do... we reached there on saturday. We can do nothing much. Still we gotta obey and all of us went to our designated room.

A white guy help me to carry my almost 30kg lugage up till 4th floor. And guess what... Half way up, The other handle broke. So now, my lugage got no handle. After we settle everything, we went out.

Based on map, we walk around. Ask the local. We went to eat McDonalds for lunch. 99pence for ala carte. The number so small. How can u get a McD for 99cent in Malaysia. Then we went to explore here and there a bit. Buy some food for the next day and how stupid we were. We bought mineral water. Only after that we can drink from the tap. Well, hehehe... Never mind, extra water bottles.

Well, I guess, I must really stop now. For it is 4am in the morning now. And later I need to get up at 7am to get ready for class.


Jun 11, 2009


Yeah, I have been MIA in few days or a month. Anyway to cut story short, just wanna announce that I have created a new blog. Specially to crap about my life in Liverpool.