G.A.Y's World Of Life

Sour Milk

2010-05-30T02:29:00.004+08:00

The grey clouds starts to move in.
The stars and moon shine behind it, is nevertheless as usual hidden.
The hopes for the rain to fall is undeniably the wish of everyone.
With the temperature that keep on rising due to our own cause,
Makes us hope for miracle to happen which can cool down our mother earth.
But we know it will never happen.
Our gaze for this miracle is just a false hope that we put for ourselves where all of us are foolishly lying to ourselves.
Cause we know it will never stop rising and affect many parts of every living creature on this land we once call it beautiful.
Why do we hope for impossible miracle?
We know we need to do something about it.
But do you really care.
Stop putting up posters to tell us save the mother nature.
Stop giving flyer to passer-by in shopping centre to save the endangered animals.
Stop printing on shirts to create awareness to save the earth.
Cause all of us take it as a mask to show that we care.
But down deep in us, we know better.
We just join it for fun and we are just N. A. T. O .
Don't believe? Let me ask you;

Do you really make and effort to recycle other than stacking those old and used papers?
For these question, yes there are but only a handful. Even if there are recycle bins stating the items with the cute pictures there, there are still people who don't seem to care about it. They just close their eyes and throw it I guess, or, worst still, there are three (3) bins in a row. Don't tell me you are not aware it is a recycle bin and don't tell me you don't understand the words. Sorry to say but I don't mean to discriminate, if you don't know how to read, there are pictures to show you which bin for which material of rubbish. Unless you're blind. But if you can see, then you can see but you're blind. How ridiculous it is.

What's the purpose of you keeping all the newspapers and stack it nicely at one corner?
How many are willing to make an effort to keep all these papers if not for the sake of money. You don't have to tell me. Keep to yourself. You know it better. Everyday, we spend minimal RM 1.20 for many pieces of papers. If not because of the "OLD NEWSPAPERS" system, I believe, our society will treat it as a junk and just dump it into the anything-bins. So, thank for the existence of this system. Without it, the dooms day might be nearer than we have now.

By these two sample, we can see how much effort our society has put it into in make this earth a better living place. Sometimes, we will think;

Ceh, if I'm the only one doing it, it makes not much difference. So why must I bother.

You might be laughing reading this statement. But because of how this society has been brought up, the money that we put into in saving the earth comes to a NULL EFFORT. It is just like chucking the money into the bin. Or sea. NO!!! Worst than that. Chucking into bin or sea, still we can make someone's life better. Well, maybe I shall say, CHUCK it into FIRE, which is right to the situation right not. Effort does not come to nothing only but make matters worst. (FIRE-Pollution-HOT). Why you ask? Don't we used a lot of papers to do proposal, bunting, post ad on newspapers, posters and bla bla bla... you name it.

As I post this, I myself is a sample of the human creature that NATO about saving the earth. (But I know and which item to goes to in recycle bin).
So it keeps me wonder, when will we really go out and make a real effort to make this earth a better world to live in?
Or maybe this day will not come.
We will then regret it when the disasters attack and take the live of our love ones.
Maybe by that time, there is not turning back.
It will be the day,
NO POINT CRYING OVER A SPILL MILK.

Stubbornness

2010-04-17T00:31:00.003+08:00

People tell me to let go, but my heart just tell me no,
For I'm still hoping for miracles to happen.
But hopes seems dim,
But on the other hand,
I still never stop to hope.
My mind just the core of everything, never stop replay those bad memories,
Flipping every scene just like a drama movie,
Repeat the every hurtful sentences just like a record,
The mind is just as stubborn as my character,
It just wont let me stop recall those moments.

My heart still feel the slit of words through and through,
But it never cares to close its wound,
It just let the salt come into it every now and then.
Which brings matter worst.
The heart too is just as stubborn as my mind.
Never stop to give a friend a heart of care.

With the pain torturing the heart and mind,
Tears have been rolling endlessly for months,
And now it is running out tears.
The stubbornness of the eyes is just as stubborn as the heart.

The worst is the stubbornness in myself,
For letting all these happening,
And I just let it be.
People say I just care too much,
I believe so too,
Cause I'm just to stubborn not to stop hoping for a spark of miracles to patch up the shattered relationship.
Stubbornness is all I have to hold all these for so long.
I guess, this will last longer then all of us expected.
Well, what can I say, it is all because of my Stubbornness...

What Did I Do?

2010-02-17T02:13:00.001+08:00

avatar Widget

2010-01-08T01:11:00.001+08:00

I Am Missing You

2009-11-20T00:49:00.003+08:00

Knock, knock, knock...
I still hold tight to my blanket. Ignoring the noise.
Then, a hand touch my shoulder.
Shaking me softly,
Calling out my name: Ai Yin, Ai Yin.. Wake up. It's late.
Reluctantly I opened up my eyes. It is 8am. The room is still dark.
The curtain that I have totally block all the morning sunlight.
One thing it is good, cause, during summer, the sun rises as early as 4.30am.
Who woke me up? I dunno. What I know is I am late for class.
Waking up late has become my habit cause I sleep very late.
The tiredness has made me being insensitive to my mobile phone alarm.
I miss that... Not about being late.. I actually miss cuddling under the DUVET!!!
Malaysia where can use the duvet. I'll be certified dead by the doc for being over-steam.

EH!!! Time for class la... Need to walked at least 30mins for first-timer to John Foster. When you train yourself you will walk faster (15mins). Ah... play fast beat songs from your MP3, you will walk faster. If u follow the beat. Eh, but I don't miss climbing up the hill. I miss walking only. If Malaysia, I won't miss it. The weather so different. Summer also only 10-20 Celcius and can go lower during the night. I MISS THE WEATHER.

As the time pass, the night time arrives. However, the moon is just to lazy to take in her shift during the summer. The Moon will only appear around 8-9pm. That is to get a full dark sky.
Squatting down, look at the dead, makes me think whether I should could the fella to eat. Open the top, wonder who to chop today. Ishk.. what are you thinking off? I'm talking about the frozen food and vegetables la... Wonder what to cook for dinner. The most unpopular dish is the sausage. Not hot dog. IS SAUSAGE. Some people didn't know the difference. Never mind, go and Google and see. I miss Chop chop (hahaha.. sounds so Mr. Andrew Upton), Boil Boil, Cook Cook... I miss thinking of inventing new food. I MISS COOKING WITH MY BELOVED FRIENDS!
Elze, Trini, Stephy, Cheryl, Tammy. Eh... Now onli I realise.. all of them got english name, but I don't.

Eh.... The clock is ticking. Not clock, the number on my digital watch is jumping accendingly. By the time chit-chat, time to watch Big Brother Season 10. wah.. that is the silliest program I have ever watch. Put few sarcastic people inside a house and Jail them up. Fuyoh... What to do. For assignment purpose. Privacy Intrusion. Ada kissing, ada naked, ada homo.. Kalau Finas move to UK, habis all that scene kena ban. Pastu, tengok apa then? Nothing interesting d. Tapi naked tu ada limit la. Don't make ur imagination goes wild now, guys! However, in the end, we miss the LAST EPISODE! Know the winner is the big boobs lady, porn star, Sophie... UK porn mag sure to have her inside. Surprisingly most of the Big Bro ladies will turn out to be a porn star in the UK mag.

Never mind, after watching, go back to our own room. Tell you what, I cannot sit still one. Unless when I am emo, I am stress, I watch movie.... If not... Here I come, visiting my little neighbourhood (Flat 83). Knock, knock, knock... Hello.. "tim ah" "kau tim meh ah?" How to do ah? eh tell you that day I saw...... kissing ..... touching.... hugging.... slapping.... (gossip girls). wahahaha... that's what girls do. I MISS MY 83.5 the most. Just situated right opposite the kitchen. That's why everytime eening nap, I will usually be awaken by the smell of food. Hahaha...

Haiya.. late ad.. tomorrow need to work. Go angkat Spritzer Mineral Water for production. K la... Will contimue next time. I wanna sleep d...
Good night...
I will always miss you (all the above, temasuk barang barang, manusia, dan friendship)
I will keep it safely for nyanyuk usage.

$$$Money Not Enough$$$

2009-11-11T22:30:00.003+08:00

Age: 0-12 years old
Worry: Mummy & Dady don't love you.
Price for that: Positive Infinity (money not a problem)

Age: 13-17 years old
Worry: How to look more mature & How to tackle opposite sex
Price for that: Buy facial products, nice clothes, ask Daddy Mummy to buy handphone (not to call Daddy Mummy, call friends and BF/GF. So good, parents pay for u to date.) (money still enough)

Age: 18- 24 years old (still studying and rent a room)
Worry: Beauty, Attraction, Cetificate, Assignments, Social, Independence (No more Mummy Daddy to stay with u, ji gei chap sang).
Price for that: Beauty products, public transport, worst still sendiri drive - Petronas, Shell, BP, etc.., Green Box, Luna Bar, clothes, phone credit, dating, "Chap Fan", Coke, groceries, Genting, kai-kai, photocopy, things for assignments, house rental, utilities bill, "beat chicken" and etc. (money very tight)

Age: 25-30 years old (kerja and dating, pre-proposal of "kit fan")
Worry: post grad- find job, salary, and all the above; found job- wanna buy car, buy house, saving; stabil- mau :sign long-term agreement a.k.a kahwin.
Price for that: "mou ngan tai a.k.a no eyes see. too many digits and zerosssss.
(Donald Trump Song: money, money, money, MONEY!)

Age: 31- 60 years old (family and work)
Worry: Anak macam siapa, anak= evil or angel, work stress, family stress, money tight, susu tepung, diapers, ekonomi meleset, anak sakit, anak mau belajar, telinga anak mula tebal, family finance, family matter, banyak matter.
Price to pay: Pay with UBAN. Uncountable. that's why when old ad rambut all pun putih.
(Where to get more money)

Age: 61 until you say bye bye
Worry: Money not enough till the day you say SAYONARA, anak tak mau u, buka akaun for "hari no more worries".
Price to pay: Buku simpanan ada wang lagi tak, KWSP ada duit lagi tak, anak you ada bagi duit, mau mati pun mesti ada duit beli tanah untuk dirikan you punya "bunglow" atau you mau sewa "flat".

$$$ Sampai Mau Mati Pun Money Not Enough $$$

White Lies

2009-11-09T21:05:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone! It's been awhile since the last time I touch my blog.
Well, I wasn't in the mood to blog at that time and I was lazy too.
Another thing is, I was caught on the conviction of telling WHITE LIES.
Sometimes, it is real hard to be ones friend. Words are the most powerful weapon.
Words look blunt, don't they?
BUT words can be as shard as knife.
It can really leave a deep scar and it can really hurt one's heart.

People say true friends are the one who really hurt you.
What are true friends to me then? To me honesty is priority.
But, after going through much, being honest with your friend doesn't come to any good.
It makes matter worst sometimes.
And bcause of honesty, trust is taken off.
Losing a trust of a true friend to me is equivalent to 'total lost' of a friend.
So. can we really hurt a true friend then?

Hence, of course, white lies is what is needed to save it.
But, have you thought about it?
What if the true friend that involved caught you telling lies.
All he/she knows is that you are not being honest as you should be.
They don't even give a damn what's the reason behind the creation of white lies.
At this point, explanation comes to nothing.
Because of white lies (which is suppose to be good) cause a havoc in the relation.

What I am saying here, doesn't only apply in friendship. It is in every relationship.
Love, family, brothers and sisters, boss and you, and etc...
Hence, sometimes because of white lies, it can make you look like a bad person.
But is it really that way?
Allah, Jesus, Buddha, every prophets, every religion in the world teach us not to tell lies aren't they?
Lies are bad, they say.
But there is one thing I know. Buddhism thought me that if they lie if for good purpose, then you can tell one.
However, still, although to you is a good purpose, can the other sees it?

So how good can a white lies be?
White Lies might only be good if one understands why you are saying it.
But how many can understand the White Lies?
How many are willing to accept the White Lies?
Can you accept one?
A White Lies.

A Nightmare

2009-07-26T02:50:00.003+08:00

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Someone please wake me from this nightmare and tell me that this did not happen in my country and that Teoh Beng Hock is safe at home with his family.

-yasmin ahmad-

This is posted in Yasmin's blog named The Storyteller, Part 2.

Today upon receiving the news, I wish to say the same statement...

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare and tell me that this did not happen in my country's filmmaking industry and Yasmin Ahmad is safe at home with her family.

Rewind: The First Day (29th May 2009)

2009-06-22T10:01:00.003+08:00

On 29th May 2009...

By 7.30am (UK time zone), we reached the Manchester Airport. It wasn't a smooth ending of the journey. Cause, one of the handle broke when we went to collect the lugage. No insurance for it unless I bought one. Well, I never buy one. So forget it. When we were reaching the exit point, seniors are out there to welcome us. I'm one of us who pushed the trolley. Not an easy pushed. The pathway surface is not flat. And the trolley is heavy. Phew... Luckily some guys come and help. Reached there ad sweat... Haiz... But never mind.

I hopped into the first shuttle. All of us around 40 cramped into it with our hand lugage. Not air-conditioned. Felt suffocated a little. But when the journey starts, then it's alrite.

Vijay, hmm... one of the senior showed us the accommodation list. Which apartment we are located. How disappointing it is. The excitement suddenly felt like being flushed down. All 6 of us are totally seperated.

Seperated never mind, then we realised something wrong with the list. We are Mass Comm students, why some of us are the only flower surrounded by grass? All others (5) are commerce and one of us being the only Mass Comm. Once we reached the "Living Liberty" Atlantic Point, we went to made a fuss about it. We appeal to be together as we planned. But then we were told that we were not guranteed to stay together when we submit our list.
Alrite, I'm fine with this.
But looked at the list, almost all Advanced Broadcast students (exccept those who already got 6 members they are not seperated. Only those with 5) are seperated and are located individually to different places.
Again, they gave the same reason. But how is this applicable. And you tell me these people might not do it intentionally? Come on, how can this be coincidental? Huh?
Ask our seniors to explain to us. Telling us that they can't changed us or ask us to exchanged with other apartment. But hey, how to change? 1 VS 5. Who wanna change?

So, tears come into scene. Well, I guess it works a little. Ahem.. I din broke into tears though.

What to do... we reached there on saturday. We can do nothing much. Still we gotta obey and all of us went to our designated room.

A white guy help me to carry my almost 30kg lugage up till 4th floor. And guess what... Half way up, The other handle broke. So now, my lugage got no handle. After we settle everything, we went out.

Based on map, we walk around. Ask the local. We went to eat McDonalds for lunch. 99pence for ala carte. The number so small. How can u get a McD for 99cent in Malaysia. Then we went to explore here and there a bit. Buy some food for the next day and how stupid we were. We bought mineral water. Only after that we can drink from the tap. Well, hehehe... Never mind, extra water bottles.

Well, I guess, I must really stop now. For it is 4am in the morning now. And later I need to get up at 7am to get ready for class.

Adious!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT

2009-06-11T06:20:00.001+08:00

Yeah, I have been MIA in few days or a month. Anyway to cut story short, just wanna announce that I have created a new blog. Specially to crap about my life in Liverpool.

http://voyinger.blogspot.com

Main Pusing-Pusing

2009-04-29T22:46:00.005+08:00

Ikan di dalam kolam tu kelihatan berlengar-lengar di ruang sempit ni.
Makanan mereka ku tabur di atas permukaan air tu.
Kelihatan air itu berkuak...

Kemudian, ku duduk di pinggir tu menikmati tingkah laku mereka.
Alangkah bagusnya aku menjadi seperti mereka.
Main dalam air, makan, renang ke hulu ke hilir, pastu.. tidur.
Apa- apa pun tak perlu dibimbang kan.
Cuma kena bimbang bila tarikh mati mereka dah sampai, kita baham daging mereka.
Tapi apa boleh kita buat.
Maklumlah, dah jadi lumrah hidup kita. Orang putih kata "circle of life".
Ha! Kita pun main pusing-pusing la... I eat you, you eat me...

Eh eh.... Bukannya maksud kita makan sesama manusia.... Lah~~ Kita bukannya orang Mauri.
Kalau macam tu, mungkin tak manusia ini akan pupus?
Hahaha.. Tapi, lupakan lah...

"I eat you, you eat me" secara tersiratnya, itu melambangkan kerakusan manusia ni.
Dah la sama spesis...
Tapi mau buli sesama sendiri.
Ajaran nenek moyang kita, pun kita dah lupa.
Apa nak jadi ni?
Oh manusia.... You dengan aku pun sama.
Kita main pusing-pusing dalam dunia. Kitaran hidup.

Pada zaman dahulu, atuk nenek kita suka saling tolong menolong.
Apabila kawan ada masalah, atuk nenek kita pergi tolong.
Tak kira warna kulit, bangsa.
Tetapi, pada suatu hari, lahirlah wang.
Atuk nenek itu pun mula menyayangi wang itu.
Kasih dan sayang yang mengunung dilimpahkan pada wang.
Hidup atuk nenek kini cuma mereka bertiga.
Wang tu bagaikan intan berlian mereka.

Hinggakan pada suatu hari, wang telah hilangkan diri.
Resah pulak atuk nenek tu.
Mulalah pencarian wang.
Naik gunung, turun bukit, masuk laut, keluar sungai...
Namun hampa juga.
Bayang-bayang pun tidak ada.
Jiran-jiran atuk nenek pun mula lah menghulurkan bantuan.
Akhirnya, tak jumpa jugak.

Atuk nenek tak percaya wang akan hilang begitu sahaja.
Mulalah atuk nenek itu membuat kesimpluan mereka sendiri.
Disangkalkan pula wang itu dicuri orang.
Disangkalkan jiran jiran mereka yang melakukannya.
Mula lah perangai mereka berubah.
Hati menjadi sehitam arang.
Kampung mereka menjadi tidak tenteram.
Semua jiran itu menjadi suspek.
Ditengking, di geledah rumah mereka.
Atuk nenek yang dulu pun telah ghaib.
Atuk nenek sekarang bagaikan hilang panduan hidup sebenar.
Ajaran, agama, teladan, sikap positif telah mereka kuburkan.

Tingkah laku atuk nenek itu telah merebak ke seluruh kampung.
Semua penduduk sudah tidak saling percaya mempercayai.
Semuanya kerana wang.
Hidup mereka menjadi hilang panduan original dahulu kala.
Semua kerana kemunculan wang.
Mereka saling tidak mempercayai satu sama lain.

Wang muncul secara tiba tiba setelah sekian lama menghilangkan diri.
Mengetahui betapa bernilainya wang, pak cik yang jumpa dia tu simpan lah dia.
Mana tau, atuk nenek tu mendapat berita itu terus meluru ke rumahnya.
Tapi, pak cik tu memberikan syaratnya...
Kalau nak wang, nak jumpa wang, jadilah hamba abdi....
Kerana terlalu menyayangi wang, atuk nenek pun bersetuju la.

Begitulah kisahnya... Ah... Hari pun dah malap... Penat pinggul ku duduk lama lama bercerita ni...
Nyamuk banyak pulak tu... Dah! I mau beristirehat dalam rumah. Tunggu la bila ada idea i cerita lagi lah...

The Pole

2009-04-28T11:50:00.005+08:00

The hot sun is shinning bright down the earth.
Not only it provides with the sun light.
But it brings the heat too.

Right in the middle of the desert, there, stand strong steel pole.
It has been there for more than a couple of decades.
Standing there all alone through out the years.
Giving comfort to those travellers.
Giving them place to lean.
Letting them to gain back their energy to walk to their destination.

Many people come and go in the pole's life.
It has try it's very best to help those who need it.
And never ask for return.

Till one day, it suddenly feel that the sand in the desert could not longer hold it.
It asked the help of one of a traveller to push it deeper into the sand.
To strengthen it.
However, the traveller replied.
"No, I cant."
Then the pole asked him why.
He said, "Cause you're to hot to be touched. It'll burn my hand."
And he just walked away.
Many other travellers too replied the same thing.

Few months past, and the pole found another traveller. Request the same thing.
And the traveller is very kind hearted enough. He helped the pole to push deeper into the sand.
Hence, the pole thanked him and asked him why he help.
"Well, if you're not strong, how am I suppose to lean on you?"
"True."

Although the pole felt a bit hurt, but it felt fine a minute later.
Cause it thought to itself.
"I'm just a pole. It's ok. At least I still can help one traveller to regain energy. And many others that are coming."
The pole knows that its life is about helping others.
Strong wind, under the hot sun, it still stand tall and be ready to help someone.

When the traveller gained his energy, he walked a distance. Then he stopped.
The pole saw him charged towards him. And gave a big bang to it's body.
The pole found its stand start to get loose. It's body started to lean to the left.
The pole was angry, and curious why he did that.

The traveller said, "Well, thanks for letting me to have a rest. But sorry to say, I only straighten you up cause i want to rest. If other travellers want to have it, then they shall straighten you up themselves.

The pole felt terribly hurt. Though the pole forgive the man for the first time. But this time, he is just too much.

Leaning side ward since then on, he got no other choice. Just to wait some one to help me stand up again.

Other travellers saw it. But just walk past it although it has ask for their favour. They ignore it cause they think it is useless...

Till it come to a time, it has given up.

But one day, the pole at last saw another traveller... And the pole knows it is going to fall to the ground if it's not straighten back.

The pole still has the anger to those who passed by him without helping him when he is in need.
He felt that people has totally use it only.
At the same time, he is falling down anytime.

Should or should not forgive them after so much pain the people had caused him? How many more forgiveness can it offer after one after one had hurt him so much?

What you think the pole should do?

Smart Kids Fair @ Bukit Kiara Equestrian Park

2009-04-21T16:29:00.004+08:00

It's been such a long time since the last time i post something here.
Hmm... All becasue I got no mood and lazy... Hahaha...
Recently I just finished edit some pictures that I took when I was working.

Yeah... Working around nearby horses. That was a wonderful experience. Having the chance to watch all the horses have their legs work out with the riders on their back. Horses has been my all time favourite animal.

Recommended by my fren, Wing, to work on this job. This is my first time ever working on registery for an event. Also the first time to work with children. Not bad hey... Just key in all the data. Lucky me din meet any hard-to-handle parents during registration. Work for three days.

The last day is the day I took all these photos.:

Well these a some of the photos that I took and edited. There are many more. Well, if I have the time and in the mood, then you will see more.. hehehe... That's all for now :)

"Life is all about charging foward. Never look back. Make mistake once, never make the same twice."

2009-03-13T02:03:00.002+08:00

Life is just like a journey.
Whatever you drive through, it will leaves prints in you.
In life, we meet with many people.
They are people from different backgrounds, races, religion, thinking, emotion and etc.
If you are able to find a person who looks totally like you, but both of you will sure be different (inner) some how or rather.

Life is about trying to maintain yourself to do the right things.
Unfortunately, some of us don't or can't.
Some of us disobey the rules by making it without intentionally.
Some, by the time they realise, apology is rather to late.
Should we stop and wait?
Or should we move ahead?

Both are the ways.
Both brings you to different routes of life then.
Some might lead you to the same conclusion.
It's sometimes just like "two roads diverge one"
Whichever one you choose, is all about taking a risk.

Is all about who you are.
"Life is all about charging forward. Never look back. Make mistake once, never make the same twice."
This is the principle of my life.

Asking forgiveness to start anew is never an easy one.
How many people are willing to?
How far can they erase the past?
How much they can bury the hatchet?

If I'm willing too, will you willing to do and think as I do?

Mistakes are made.
Hurt feeling are felt.
How far can it be mend?
How much can one takes?
If only people think like this;
"Life is all about charging forward. Never look back. Make mistake once, never make the same twice."

Wouldn't it be a better a world for living?

"Life is all about charging forward. Never look back. Make mistake once, never make the same twice."

Can it be done?
It takes two person to do tango.

So...
"Life is all about charging forward. Never look back. Make mistake once, never make the same twice."
It is all about you and me (all of us).

Rewind: November 2008 (Sony VAIO Launch)

2009-02-01T03:05:00.010+08:00

What you are about to view in this post is the Rewind of Year 2008 event. Here you will see few of my friends and I that I met in that year having fun at the place we left our mark of memory there.

It is the VAIO Offical Launch@ Sunway Surf Beach, Sunway Lagoon on 29th November 2008. How do I get involved with this event? Well, thanks to Bryan. He is the one who told me about it and I registered to participate in it. Then, I also ask Szetoo and TC to come along. Then, we found out that KJ, Nic, Eddy, Jannah and Khalil came along too. KJ is actually the one who post it on the forum but I didn't go and check it out. Whatever it is, it was a great event. No regrets!

And this photo, I took when me and Szetoo were waiting for the others to arrive. It was kind of hot and sunny that day. That's how I got this photo. We waited to the security guards to allowed us to pass as well as to wait for the others to arrive.

What all of us looked forward too on that day was the treasure hunt activity. The are many other activities but too bad, if we participate treasure hunt, others all clash with the time. So all of us join the hunt only. It is know as the "VAIO HUNT". One group consist of 5. Let me introduce my group members.

Team A: Apabila

Szetoo

Bryan

Wong KJ

Nic Chan

and Me

Sorry, TC...

At first a team can be made up of 6 people. However, when we reached there, they have changed it to 5. We have begged them to put us as 6 but they reject our request. Sorry, TC. It didn't went well as we planned.

Face painting

Before we start the hunt, all of us got our face painted. There are some choices that we can choose. I made two. One flora and the other fire. Hmm... Actually this is the first time I get my face painted. Shy to admit but that's the fact.

The tasks

Here are the tasks we need to complete. There are 10 tasks for 1 hour. The first task we did was to kiss the yellow snake. The we need to do a lot of task which we need to go on many crazy rides. Some turn us upside down. Another one good experience is that we need to do rain dance like a Red Indian. It really work! Cause the next thing we know was that we were splashed with water from somewhere and sprayed with water hose. All these games are fun but very tiring. We have to run bare footed. At the end of the game, my feet got some cuts. But that's okay cause I have a lot of fun.

Right after the Hunt, the first thing that we did was to get ourselves splash with water. Erm.. Except for me cause I'm the one taking pictures.

Next, when almost sunset, the search for VAIO HUNK & BABE competition started. Khalil, Jannah, and KJ participated in the competition. As usual, KJ won the people heart with his skills in yo-yo. So he is the HUNK!

Jannah

The judges.

Here are some other photo's I took randomly of other people that I never know them.

The kids.

Night view of Sunway Surf Beach.

Kids in water.

So, these are basically what we did in the event. There are a lot of pictures and videos but I guess that's enough for today.

OFFICIAL SONY VAIO LAUNCH

29 NOVEMBER 2008

The Day Before

2009-01-30T23:46:00.005+08:00

On the 19th of January 2009...

As I posted earlier, I flew back to my "nest".
Through out the journey, I got no other things to do except to hold the steering wheel, right leg on the accelerator, left leg controlling clutch and break, as well as listening to songs.
Oh ya, of course eyes to watch the road and car.
Unfortunately, this pair of my eyes getting more and more stubborn.
The gap getting closer and closer.
No matter how I force my eyes to open it still dun work.
Turn the radio to the max volume. That helped a little but then later the eyes get immune to it.
I did doze off a couple times.
Slap myself also dun work.
So I call and talk to my friends.
So that's how it helps me to survive to reach my "nest" safely.

That's not it.
Reached home only, unpacked my stuff....

Here it goes...

Clean the house. Every year, this is when I'm the most hardworking in cleaning the house la. This pic of course, I took it from somewhere else. My house is very clean and tidy. Cause I got a Virgorian MUM. Hahaha....

Then, like auntie, I went to night market to buy fresh vegetables to be stock up in the fridge for prayers and open house. Don't be surprise. Many aunties rushed to buy vegetables and the night market is really packed. Although is known as night market, me and my mum reached there by 4.30pm. Under the hot sun and in the middle of the crowd, my god. I went in the market dry, came out wet (sweaty). Hahaha....

And of course, not forgetting. Friends and shopping. Jonker is my favourite place to hang out. Every weekend night, you will most probably find me there. I just love to walk around and look at things and people. Ask my Malacca's friend, which place I would usually suggest for the weekend.

Well, at last, this is the time I love the most. Reunion Dinner on the Eve of Chinese New Year. We modern a bit. Eat at restaurant. This is the restaurant we went. Meet up with my aunties, uncles and cousins. My god... So many things to catch up I suppose. But most of the time I talk crap. Hahaha. And take pictures of course. So many camera shy relatives I have. So as usual, take picture without them knowing most of the time.

See, shake hands here and there. Younger call out the older ones. That's call manners. Judging time came too at this day of eve. You will hear...

"Eh, you thin already."

"Eh, you gain weight. Please put down some weight for god sake."

"Eh, why you so fat already?"

Hahaha... But luckily no one talks bout me.... They just asked me about one thing...

"Are you going to UK? When are you going to UK?"

My answer: No comment.

Hahaha.... Act like superstar.

Here is the delicacy that we should not miss during the eve. Positive greetings should be say aloud. And as you mixed it, pull it as high as possible, but of course to certain extend. If not, nothing left for you to eat. Hahaha...Then it's time to eat!!! That's the most important thing about the Eve. Everyone sit together to eat and...

Chit-chat. "How's your son/daughter been doing?"

"How's your business?"

"I got something good to recommend to you..."

and so on...

never ending catch-up.

And also photography session. With a camera person in the event, how could this activity be left out. Yeah, these people here are my father's sister's children. Beautiful children/cousins.

And of course, lastly, beers are unavoidable. ~Cheers~

That's what we call "yam seng" session.

Yam.............................................................................. Seng.................!!!

So here's the full stop(.) of The Day Before. The Day Before Chinese New Year....

Weird

2009-01-13T03:08:00.005+08:00

For the first time in my life, when I hear something funny from my friends,
I will laugh like mad as usual.
But as the happiness is shown on my facial appearance, I can't feel it in my heart.
This is such a weird feeling. Never felt this way before!

I want to be happy.
Yes, those jokes were very humorous, and I really laughed at it because it is funny.

But I do not why, deep in my heart, I felt like putting on the happy mask as I...
I felt anger!
I felt agony!
I felt sadness!
I felt disappointed!
I felt pain!
I felt cheated!
and I felt...

I have lost you!

What a weird feeling of mine tonight.
At the same time, is just like a deja vu.
Is the same feeling and same story as in my dream I had just a couple an hour before the weird feeling attack my mood and emotion of the night.

At first, I thought it was just a stupid dream that spoil my mood for awhile.
But I never expect to see the "happening" situation in reality.

Is all just too weird...
What a weird weird night!
With a weird feeling and mood!

Puzzle of Life

2009-01-12T03:58:00.011+08:00

Is almost 4am in the morning. I just reached home.

Never want to keep myself in the small room of mine earlier.

Fearing the worries and fear and agony and many negative thoughts kept on haunting my mind.

So i decided to watch football with my friends at Zati Manis.

Do I love football? Yes, I do. Which team I support?

I can't tell you now for I will only decide when I watched.

Funny right! But I don't care right now what you think.

All I want this night is to get out from the room of unhappiness.

A couple of "teh-tarik" sessions actually. One after one.

When they ended...

Sitting in my small black car...

I drove back home on the empty street.

Unlike the street, my mind play with many thoughts...

Driving at 20km/h, taking a longer route, I'm arranging the pieces of puzzle of my life.

My past, present and future.

However, as I putting the pieces together, I found that many pieces are missing.

Where have they been?

The inner me is having conflict now.

Where has it gone wrong?

Why am I not whom I used to be 10 years back?

Where is my old self?

Oh... how I wish I can find it.

The one who used to be confident.

No worries of having to think how to talk to the person next to me.

Not having have to think how to please people.

Don't have to crack my mind how to make people happy.

All that, come so naturally, and done so naturally by me, once upon a time.

But how come all of whom I used to be has all gone?

Where have I left them?

Did I left it somewhere at the turning at any path of my life?

I have changed to whom I am not used to be.

Frankly, I have become worst.

All this time as I set my foot into college life as well as part time working life,

I work hard on how do I make the people around me happy.

Never want to spoil their mood.

Never want to have bad impression.

And I play it all cool.

But what is this all about!!!

I lost the pieces of me.

Which I really miss them dearly.

Tears trickle down my cheeks as these words appear on the screen of mine.

Oh... what's the used of it?

Is it ok for me to put all my sorrows to my tears?

let them trickle and fade away as the wind passed by?

Will I be okay then?

I just don't know.

Watching friends making success in their life.

Some are just about to step into the limelight, and some are already there.

As for me, I'm standing there, putting vision of me in the light.

Ideas to success are well draft, but I just do not know how to do it.

Why?

For I see all the roads are full of barricades.

Very strong barricades indeed.

Searching for strength and tools to break it.

But they are never found.

For they are not there in me.

Is this right? Is it fated?

Watching my friends one by one easily break themselves through the barricades.

Why can't I do that too?!!!!

What's wrong with me?

Oh my!

This is not the time to mourn over my sorrows.

Is time for me to start search harder for the missing pieces of me.

I need to complete the puzzle as soon as possible.

I need to stand strong!

I must succeed in my life.

I want to make my loved ones proud of me.

For I owe them too much.

For I want them to feel, they are not raising a "trash".

And most importantly, I want to prove to those who has looked down on me, once!

The missing pieces of puzzle of me and my life, is soon to be complete by me!

Yes! I can do it!

I want the tears of my sorrows today turn to tears of happiness one day!

Not only it will run down the cheeks of mine but also the people who care and love me!

The Puzzle of Life = Sorrow + Success + Failure + Happiness = Human

Studio V Launching

2009-01-04T01:34:00.012+08:00

It's 2/1/09 when I received the invitation through my email.

Dear ABC2 students,
Greetings! Happy New Year to all of you.

I would like to invite you for a facility visit to Studio-V at One Utama, to give you a better idea how a radio station like StarRfm branch out from traditional radio airwaves to meet their listeners in shopping mall, by conducting live broadcast from a flagship studio (transparent glass, witness LIVE broadcast!).

Date: 3rd January 2009 (Saturday)
Time: 11.00am (pls arrive at 10.45am)
Venue: Studio-V @ One Utama (1U Rainforest section)
PIC (Stu visit): Mr. Edmund Lai

(part of the email from Ms Lim)

So below here is the video reported in The Star online news. For those ABC2 students who din attend the event, this is basically what is all about. You'll find me and Khai Yeat in the news.

As many of you know, I won't leave my house without my compact camera, especially to an event. So, I left my house at 9.30am to settle a couple of things that I need to do before the event. (TBR printing shop & car workshop). Then, roughly around, 10.20am, I set off to the destination with Khai Yeat and Hui Hsien (thanks for fetching me). Lucky enough for us, there was no traffic jam. So we reached there around 10.50am.

Right after we reached the location where we should meet up with Ms Lim, as usual registration need to be done.

The registration counter.

Next, three of us and few other Tarcians wait by the side for the VIPs to arrive. Without them, there will be no launching. Hahaha...

While we were waiting, drums, plastic bottles, cans, pails, cane, wok, and many other instruments, can be heard. They were used to create a nice rhythm to welcome the public to the event. The Drum Circle performance was performed by The Star Brats. Later, me and Hui Hsien were recruit to be part of them. Was so blur when they asked me to join in. No idea of their rhythm and tempo. So, I slowly learned and get it. Phew! Luckily I got it before the VIPs arrived. Hence, both of us joined them to welcome the VIPS Datuk Teo (1U Director) and Datin Linda (The Star Publications Group Managing Director/CEO).

(taken from The Star online publication : Sunday January 4, 2009)

Here is the host of the day for this event

Wears in red, she brings the VIPs for a tour around the studio.

I managed to slip myself in between the crowd to get closer to snap some photos. Hahaha... Being short, one of the crew, I think, allowed me to move to the front. Thanks to him.
Many photographers hold their DSLR. But I only hold a compact camera. What a "shy case", some of you will say. That is what I used to say. But now, I'm thinking, so what? Compact is still a camera. Cameras are used to capture the moments. So here are some of the pictures of the VIPs during the VIP Studio V Tour.

Here is a closer looked at both Datuk Teo and Datin Linda

The VIPs on Cam

In this studio, the VIPs were shown to some clips, such as the pre recorded video on the ealier session of RED fm broadcast, news, and most importantly, Studio V crews self made CNY MTV. This is why the VIPs were having a good laugh in there. Well, I myself who watched it too can stop laughing too.

VIPs having a good laugh over the MTV

This whole event is not only about the lauching of this studio, but also, The Star is looking for new talents to be part of them. They are looking for new faces for their Newscaster. So, those who are interested, don't feel shy to go and try it out. I've tried. But of course, the audition started of with Datin Linda. She was the first person to do the tryout.

Datin Teo's try out

Here is how it looks like behind the scene before a news goes on air. For readers who don't know or not exposed to this field, here is a rough picture how it looks like behind the scene.

Behind the scene

Studio V is not about video, but also radio. Red fm, 988 fm, and Suria fm, are the stations that will used this studio to air their programs. Well, corpetations needed from these three stations. There is only one studio for radio. So, only selected program from each station for certain time slot will used this place. Crossover too can be done from here from their main studio. That was done by Red fm earlier. When there are any celebrities interview sessions, they will be held here. And most importantly, fans or any listeners in the shopping mall can stop by to join in the interview session. This is the main purpose of the studio here. They want to get more closer to the listeners.

One of the staff tryout to be DJ (apology for not knowing the name and designation)

Well, enough of the VIPs, so now we move on to the most interesting part. The first floor of the studio. This is what they labelled it as the "Interactive Room". When I followed the VIPs to the section, I was amazed with the whole setting. Why? These pics will tell you why.

Interaction between public and broadcaster. The background is where public can create their own album.

Questions? Album? Yeah! That's right. Those who loves to sing, and have a dream to make their own album, you can do it here, in the spherical cubic. However, yesterday, we were told they were not complete just yet. Yeah! Is "they". There are two sets of it. Next, they have Wii and Play Station. Do I hear "WOW" from you? Not only that they do have computers ready for public to browse through the online news.

A staff assisting a girl with the function of Wii

Two boys were having fun with the PS.

Yesterday, in the interactive room, it was not tatally about playing game. But also you can win some vouchers by winning the game in either Wii or PS. See... Have fun and win something. Me, Hui Hsien, and Khai Yet, won some :)

Curiorsity on which job that suits you, they have the career advisor from StarJob search staff to help us out. I've done mine. And it turns out to be adventurous. Am I? Yeah. Followed close by creating and investigating. Looks like I'm in the right field now.

Which is yours?

So many things what other people do. So now, is our TARCIANs moment. First come to first, we sat near the stage and enjoy the activities organised by the three radio stations' crews and DJs. We won ourselves some vouchers fron Starbucks, Jusco, and Home of Hormony.

988 FM crews giving out vouchers by asking selected audience to sing, dance, and eat mini mandarin oranges (this is where me and Hui Hsien won some vouchers here).

Here is the Suria.fm DJs. In between we did win some prize from Red.fm too. During the Red.fm session, we were asked to guess the characters from movies y listening to the audio clips. However, when it reached the Suria.fm session, we have to leave to second session of our day of the event.

Suria. fm crews

And secondly, we have tour around the studio. Is my second tour, actually. Hehehe... But this second tour gave me a clearer picture. Cause we have tour guides and the crews to explain to us personally.

Red.fm DJ and two tour guides explain to us the details

The Big Screen for public to browse through the daily newspapers. Hand movement detection technology is used to flip the newspapers.

During the tour in the studio, we got the chance to try be a newscaster. Only me and Khai Yeat got the chance to try it out. It was fun. The crews there did point out where we have gone wrong, and why is our reading fast and how to imporve it. Well, a bunch of thanks to all of them. we really had learned a lot through this tour.

Khai Yeat on audition while others looked on.

So, that is basically what we have. Of course we did tour to the Interactive Room. That's where we end our tour. Hope that I din miss anything out.

Cheers!

The Beginning!

2009-01-02T06:20:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year
Originally uploaded by Crazy G.A.Y

Now we have to close a 365 days life story of 2008.
Here is the beginning of the new chapter of everyone's life.
All of us gonna go through another new 365 days this year.
My wishes for all my readers are simple...

F.U.N + THE B.E.S.T + G.A.Y = 2009

HaPpY nEw YeAr, everyone!

Stop & Stare & Sorry

2008-12-28T04:05:00.013+08:00

I have been sitting in front of my laptop for weeks or even more than one month. DOING THESIS....!!! Argh...

Stressed out in many things and stuff... When I voice out, friends will tell me to chill, go easy on it, things will be better tomorrow, and so on. But hey! There is nothing easy in life. That's how I look at it. Those words of theirs can never give me the cure to comfort. However, it leaves anger in me sometimes. Just feel like shout out!

At least when she is sad, she knows how to show and look for comfort.

Hey people! I'm now the one who suffer!

I feel the pain!

Do you feel the same thing that I go through?
Have you ever put yourself in my shoes?
Have you ever get to know me more than I myself do?
Have you ever care to care about me?
Have you ever care to know what I am thinking?
Have you ever care to know who I am?
have you ever...

That's why most of the times, I choose not to voice it.

Keep it all. Hug it all to myself.
Walk alone barefooted on all the rocky roads.

Sorry. The words I put down here may hurt those who really care about me. But people say, when one is in emotional situation, they can never think straight.

Mirror myself on this text I'm typing now, I am now wondering, how far am I true to that statement.
But seriously, I can't really feel the care from people around me. Oh my! Am I a human made up without "care sensor". I really wish I can feel it. But how?

Wei Xiang acting skill not bad huh? So Emo..

Keep on telling myself than "no one understands better than you, yourself do".

Has this statement make me numb. I just don't know. And maybe this is the reason why I've been labelled by my friends as "Stubborn Queen".

Here are the people who labelled me as "Stubborn Queen". Thanks to Szetoo Weiwen for this photo.

The year is about to end few more days. Counting the days as I weight the happy and unhappy event that went through my life. Selecting suitable emoticon into the events and here comes the result. Imbalance. Wonder how I can go through such a SUCK life and survive till today.

Have a short chat with Szetoo Weiwen in the evening, and talking about those genius who don't really have to study and can play most of their time and strive for success so easily. She labelled them study smart. And it is not good to be a total study smart person. Must be street smart too.

But I say I'm neither or am I (street smart)?
Oh.. So that's how I survive through this sucky year?

Wonder if I still have time before the year ends?

Time for what, you ask?
Time for a change, I'll say.

Time to open the door; or
Time to close it and keep in the dark.

That I'll have to decide.

How to make my life wonderful?

How to live my life to the max?

Is all in my hand.

For I'm the only driver who can drive down the road of my life.

Others can only direct.

Thanks to Fong Way for this photo.

Which way to go, is all up to me.

ONLY ME!

I'm Sorry

2008-12-27T16:25:00.003+08:00

Watching Bollywood movie after pampering myself with McD,
then suddenly, a feeling comes in...
feeling down,
feeling sad.
I feel my life so empty now.

Messages and phone calls come in everyday.
"Ni zai na li, nue ren?"
(Where are you?)

"Wo zai jia lo"
(I'm home.)

"Na li de jia?"
(Which home?)

"KL lo"
(KL)

"Wah, bian chen KL ren le la?"
(Wah, become KL people already...)

The last sentence is what i used to say to my friends months back.
But look at me now. Where am I?

Sitting in the small room.
Putting myself in a corner, in the city of KL, high up in the air.
Disconnecting myself most of the time from people whom I missed.
Which I never wish I treat you all this way.

I'm Sorry.

TIMID

2008-12-19T03:29:00.003+08:00

Just end a chat with my fren on MSN. We've talked on many many things till it comes to a topic where we talked about our classmates.
Aha! Most of you when you see this sentence only, then all of you will start to wonder what are the bad things that we gossip about.
Hello~~~ you all thought you all really got so many things for us to gossip?

So, this is where I make a comparison of myself to those we have talked about. However, names won't be revealed. Let's see how percise I describe on that people we have been talking about.

First of all, a GUY. He is a person where I always think he should be in the political field. The way he talks is so critical sometimes (especially political), which I find it damn boring. Not to say that I don't discuss about political stuff. I do! In fact, sometimes I just loves to talk about it. I used to read newspaper like an old man. Read from A to Z. That was since primary to secondary school era. Then by the time I come to college, I totally get myself disconnected from the newspaper or from any news source. Then slowly, the "old man" in me just fade away. Now, I feel that I'm so damn empty in my General Knowledge Dictionary. And also the disease of "I DUN CARE" spread in me. So whenever he talks to me, I just shut my lips. Not that I dun dare to say anything. Is just that I got nothing to say. Laziness haunt me now. How? I feel so small... But not till the next few minutes when he does his talking. Cause after that, that's where his soft news / sensational news, come into the conversation. And not to mention, sometimes, his super duper blurness. However, I still dare not stand stronger than him. Put myself at one corner of the world. This is how timid I can go...

Sounds like we talked a lot of people, but this is the second and the last. This time, is a LADY, I shall call her. Cause her appearance makes her a lady, though almost of the time she said herself very "cho lo" (hokkien). Well, is a NO NO for me. For I'm more "cho lo" than her. However, never ever look down at her, for she has a very strong personalities which I admire. Walking beside her, I can never walk tall. I will make myself invinsible almost most of the time. Feeling small with myself. As I told my fren during the chatting session; if she moves one step, I need to make 10 steps to reach where she is with the one step she makes. I dunno but her character is just rare to find. In my life, so many people walk in and out of my life. I only found 2 with this character. The first has been very successful in her life, in career wise and of course others. Is she a happy person? Yes, she is. Cause she got an individual who puts on clown mask to be by her side. And that person who wears the clown mask is very timid. Never brave enough to stand taller. This is what happens whenever I'm with this Second friend (my classmate) I meet here. For she is smart in every way I think that makes her stand tall above the rest of the ladies I know. But not taller than the First. But she can make it one day to where the First make. And even better. That's what I believe. Way to go girl!

Aha! Why only these two we discussed? Cause my friend said is time for her to walked into her dreamland. As for me, I'm walked back into my war which will only end another week.

Have a merry merry Christmas everyone!

The Final Countdown

2008-12-15T02:53:00.010+08:00

It's almost 3am in the morning. I was going through some reading when I notice an email notification from my classmate, Hui Hsien. I usually do not open emails that content nothing useful, particularly contain pictures and stories that passed around the globe. But this is different, I dunno why, my fingers automatically direct to the touch pad and click to open up the email entitled "You guys are special to me :P".

The story managed to get hold of my interest and almost bring me to tears.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in
Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

Din I said almost. It just bring me to think... Just few more weeks... This semester is going to be OVER. And this is the final semester of our final years. Whether or not I'm going to join most of them to UK does not really matter now. What I know is, the time for me to be with them is getting shorter.

If I'm to be sitting with my classmates at the mamak stall right now, then I shall hear voices like these:

"No worries la... when we worked we can find time to meet up."
"Haiya, don't think so much la."
"We sure can make up something. Gathering or whatever."
"Chill la... Enjoy the moment that we have now."

Aha... the last sentence is the one I usually says. But the true fact is that I do really care.

Some 4 years, some 3 years, some 2 years, some 1 years, some few months... No matter how long I really know every single of them, the fact will remain.
The fact is that, they are the people who made me who I am this moment.
They are the people who build my path of life as I walk forward. Is just the matter of how small or how big the impact is along the way. So, the period of me knowing them does not matter to me.

After this, everyone will be leading their own path. Who all of us will be then? How we gonna lead our next step of life? No one knows. One thing I'm VERY SURE of is that, things will never be the same anymore. UNLESS, we really make our own initiatives.

But how many are willing, or will time permit it or will the work load and stress permit it?

No one knows what happen the next second.

This is my fav sentence too.

How long can our friendship goes?
How long can we keep in touch?
And how long will we live to enjoy it?

Can you see the time that I'm questioning now?

No matter what the questions are, it can never be answered now. Not till the time come.

Every second there are many things that comes in and out of my life whether I realise it or not. Every time I will react differently to different situation. So most of the time, every single steps i make, it does occur in my mind if I do this or do that to that particular someone, will they like it or will it make them hate me. So, it means the clear conscience and guilty conscience of mine haunt me most of the time.
And sometimes, I'm not aware of what I'm doing. Sometimes, feeling is much stronger than my conscience.
And sometimes, I DON'T THINK!
I may create many people out there that hate me without any of my intention at all. I just dunno.

But do all these really matters? I do not know. Is up to everyone who wanna judge me.
Whether you wanna judge me or not?
How you gonna judge me?

One thing for sure is that I'm trying my very best to do whatever it is to make people happy. That's me, Ai Yin!

Ku Tetap Menanti

2008-12-14T14:27:00.008+08:00

Ku tidak rasa jemu menunggu panggilan mu.
Ku tetap menunggu sms mu.

Namun, segala penantian ini sehingga kini masih belum berakhir

Kerana ku tetap belum terima khabar berita dari mu.

Memandang muka telefon ku membuat hatiku semakin pilu.

Apakah salah silap ku sehingga ku dibiarkan meneruskan hidup ku ini sendirian?

Mengapa kau pergi secara tiba-tiba?

Mengenang memori kita bersama beberapa tahun dahulu, kau lah yang banyak mendorong aku:

di masa ku memerlukan seseorang,

di masa ku tidak larat melangkah lagi dalam perjalanan hidup ku,

di masa ku memerlukan tangan seorang insan yang dapat memimpin ku,

di masa ku amat memerlukan pelukkan kasih yang dapat mengalirkan air mata ku yang sentiasa tergenang di kelopak mata ku ini

dan hanya kau lah yang dapat memberikan semua ini dalam hidup ku.

Namun, kini kau tinggalkan ku seorang diri. Menerokai hidupku sendirian. Meraba masa depan ku di alam yang gelap. Ku cuba mencapai tangan mu, tapi ku hanya dapat merasakan kegelapan. Ku bagaikan seorang insan yang lebih buta daripada mereka yang cacat penglihatan.

Di hari ku bersedirian, akan ku membuka memori ku, melihat apa yang pernah kita lalui. Dan ku cuba mencari, APA SILAP KU! Seandainya boleh, ku ingin menjerit sekuat-kuat hatiku! Namun, bibirku tetap terkunci.

Hanya Dia memahami, betapa perit dan pilunya hati ku ini. Bagaikan kesakitan yang tidak bertandakan noktah.

Hanya Dia juga yang memahami, betapa banyak tanda-tanda soal di dalam benak ku ini. Sehingga kini, soalannya masih tidak terjawab. Bagaikan teka-teki yang tidak mungkin terungkai sudah.

Mungkinkah ku telah melukakan hati mu tanpa ku sedari?

Mungkinkah selama ini ku membebani hidup mu?

Mungkinkah kau menemui ruang hidup mu yang lebih baik tanpa ku?

Mungkinkah....

Segala kemungkinan tidak mungkin terjawab tanpa mu menghadiri hidup ku semula.

Dan sebab itulah...

KU TETAP MENANTI

(p/s: watak di dalam gambar tidak saling berkaitan dengan cerita di atas. gambar tersebut hanyalah panduan memberi gambaran kepada anda)

Finally: Freak Out!

2008-11-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

"Ai Yin ah.. You know when to pass up our thesis or not?"
"Har? Week 13 or 14 la..."
"No. Is Week 12. Pn. Khaza just informed us."
"What?!!!"

That's it! Must force myself back to thesis mode!
Freak out time!!!!

G.A.Y

2008-11-22T22:22:00.001+08:00

Another Saturday has passed....

I spent my whole day in my room.
Recall back everything that I had enjoyed for the whole week.

And bring them back to dream as I doze off for most of the time.

Brought those happening stuff into it and enjoy it.

That's what most people enjoyed when their eyes are closed.

But, however, there are things that I recalled and I just can't ignored them.

Things that keep me awake before another doze.

Things that I wished I can help.

But I just dunno how.

I was stunt

I was speechless.

I just dunno what to do.

And I am still the same now.

Though I looked GAY.

Activities come in and out of my life this week.

I spend time with my large group of friends.

Yeah... That was the fun part.

But when midnight comes...

"They" come to haunt me.

Those sad stuff and things that I worry about haunt me back.

I just wished that I could blocked it.

But there is not point of it.

It will still haunt me no matter what.

Is either I solve it or it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

That's G.A.Y's World of Life.

However, the truth is...

I don't care much about that.

I do not care much what was torturing and haunting ON me.

I do not care what are the things that I'll need to face if I neglect it.

This is G.A.Y!

What I care most are those people around me.

And most importantly, I care about those whom I call them my friend.

That's me.

This is GAY.

Whenever I see tear drops in their heart,

I fell the pain.

Whenever I see it,

I'll always pray;

How I wish I could help them bear the pain and suffering?

How can I help them to ease their pain?

How can I make things to cheer them up?

But at the same time, I know the fact that I can't do all that.

That's what I hate most of the time about me.

Cause I just do not know how!

I just don't know how to put them back in GAY mood.

Oh, now I can only hope that they will be given the strength to bare all those things.

And hope that they will recover soon by finding the way out.

As I'm sitting on my bed typing this stuff out, I know some of my friends, not one, but few of them is struggling with the sadness, worries and problems. But what do I do?

NOTHING!

G.A.Y does nothing at all.

Yes! This is GAY who don't know how to make people GAY!

How bad this G.A.Y is!

How can G.A.Y be GAY when they are not GAY!

G.A.Y is your useless friend!

And I admit it.

Yesterday & Today

2008-11-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm so slow....
Damn slow....

Now ad week 6, going to Week 7 of this final semester.
Sigh... From the beginning I'm really in no mood and interest to do a thesis.

Thanks to Szetoo Weiwen!

Encouraging me to do it!

Thanks a lot, my fren...

Hmm.... back to the story then...

I was just too tired on Thursday! Eyes were so heavy although the night is still so young.

Then I decided to take a "nap". Supposing I wanted to sleep for 30mins but...

Yeah... I slept for an extra 2hours. Now, when I woke up is already past midnight.

Oh no...

Slowly I force myself to climb out of my cozy bed. Washed my face and drown myself among those thick books. Hmm... Read not even one chapter, or probably half the page of the first book, I lost my concentration. I really can't concentrate on reading whenever the content doesn't interest me. I'll browse over youtube.com, facebook.com, and so on... do a lot of things but none of it related to my thesis.

In my mind....

"Ai Yin!!! What are you doing?! You must do your thesis."

Well that works...
Quickly I force myself to "thesis mode".

But then, again. I lost my concentration easily.

Dilly dally dilly dally...
The whole night I din sleep.

Erm.. got la... 2hrs. Then I've to get ready for class d...

Afternoon, I went to PJ to collect my pay.

Then at evening, I went to work.

By the time I come home (at last), it's already past midnight. Then, only I ate my dinner.

Why so late?

Cause during the daytime my tummy sick. That's why...

Why work so hard?

$$ Vitamin-M $$

I ate and online at the same time. Browse through my my email and FB. Chit chat and and watched Crayon Shin Chan.

Not that I'm aware of. I dun know when and how, I slept.

What I know is when I opened my eyes, with my hands is on the keyboard (no kidding. In typing position some more)

I only know that around 2.30am, I was still online.

Well, the next morning...

I woke up at 10.30am. Then, I went to my aunty's house.

What I do there?

I get all my trousers washed.

I brought the thick books there and also my camera, of course!

Thought can read there. But as usual. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!!!!

So I play around with my cousins.

And with camera.

My little cousin used my compact camera (Kodak M860). I used the camera loan from Sony (A300).

And I discovered something...

These are some of the photos she took. She's 6... what was I doing when I was six? I dunno. One thing for sure, I dun play with camera. I din teach her at all. She take whatever she likes. These are only few of what she took.

And here are some of mine.

Here you go.... 14+15 = F.U.N + T.I.R.E.D

It'll Never Be The Same

2008-11-13T17:37:00.000+08:00

Raining again...

A good day to sleep.
However, I have to force my sleepy eyes to stay wide open.
Sitting in my room alone, I think back what happened in class today.

I saw one of my friends walked in.
Saw her face.
I could tell, she's not in her happy mood. For her smiling face I used to see is no longer there.

It brought me to flash back my memory to 7 years back.
I went through what she went through.
It really hurts.

Losing someone you loved the most, where:
you will never hear the voice called out your name,
you'll never see the smile,
you'll never see the sad face,
you'll never see every single thing of the people you lost.

The only thing I have, is the memories we once had together.

She protected me whenever I need to face the pain of cane.
She carried me whenever I fall.
She gave me money, cause she knew I need it.
Most importantly, she shelter me and everyone else under her love and care whenever any of us need it.

Her lost is not sudden. She fights like a warrior to stay alive. Cancer has ripped her away from us.

Before her death, to me, "DEATH" is nothing.
Is just a cycle of life. If your loved one is gone, then, that's it. They are gone, we the one who are still alive, just carry on. It's just so simple.

But by the time I faced it, I was totally wrong.

Hmm.... It still smell very fresh. (my memory)

7.30pm - 180101
I was enjoying the dramatic scene of the HK drama series. But, the ringing of the phone interrupted my focus.

The phone call itself has bring another new chapter of drama in my life.

"She's gone. She'll never come back"
"Liar! Liar! Liar! You must be kidding me!"

Being alone in that house with my younger sister, never know what to do.
To break the news to my sister is not easy.
As I put down the phone, I, be as tough as possible. As tough as I can hold back my tears. I let the news out of my lips. Her reaction is just the same as I was.
Her grieve and tears, however has soften everything that I had try to hold back earlier.
I let my sadness out. I let my tears stream down my cheeks. I just couldn't hold back any longer.
I felt my colourful world turns to grey all of the sudden.
The agony, the pain, it's killing me.

I'll never have the chance to drive her around.
I'll never have the chance to show her my success.
I'll never have the chance to see and hear her.
For now, she's so far away, which I'll never know where.

Everyone has their bad and good.
However, till today, all I remember is her goodness.
What are the bad things about her?
I have forgotten.

"Do take care of the younger cousins. You're the eldest."

But I'm in no strength to do it, granny. Cause things is not the same anymore when you're around.
Everyone seems to take their own path now.
Not like we used to be. We work everything out together.

I still remember the day when I was on my way to my Diploma Convocation ceremony.

The sun was shinning brightly. I was running late. When I reached college, ran up the slop the to the college hall. Every step I took, my heart feel the joy and sadness. Half way through, I look into the sky.

"I've made it, granny. Can you see me now? Me, with my success."

I almost cried. For she can't be there to attend my convocation. How I wished she could. However, I might also disappointed her is she is there. For the last thing she told me was...

"Study hard and be a doctor. Then, you can help others."

I'm sorry, granny. That was my dream. But I've to let it go for I've screwed it up in the middle of the journey to success. But I believe I still can success in the other path I am on now. I'll work it out, no matter what.

For quite some time after her death, every time I saw an old lady passed by or any family or children surround their grandma, I was jealous. For I wished I could enjoy more time with granny just like them.

However, today, I'm back tough again. It doesn't I've forgotten her. I just have to.

It's just that I need to be tough to achieve the mission given by her. It is...

Bring back the good old days!

Here I Am Again!

2008-11-03T15:29:00.001+08:00

What a day!
Went back to Malacca yesterday!
Not even 24hours i spend my time with my family. I've to rush back to KL.
For one stupid reason; attend the so called "SEMINAR" which was made compulsory.

Slept not even 2 hours the night in Malacca, I've to force my damn sleepy eyes to open to get ready for KL. But luckily, in the 2 hours journey back to KL I managed to sleep another 90mins.
That also when i reached Pudu station, I've to force my eyes to open and my butt to get out of the "couch". So. I'm the last person to get out of the bus!

So, after getting down from the bus, i loook at my watch, well I think I can make it on time to there. Hmm, but as I walk to the Pasar Seni station which was 15-20mins journey I think, i was thinking whether to drive to DKAB? or take a cab.

As I was thinking, there were couple of things happened along the journey.

An old uncle met an accident. I'm not quite sure what happend to him but he was sitting on the border of the roadside. There were some men stood around him. I managed to take a glance to see whether there is any serious injury. But thank god, just a minor one. Some skin peels off from the left ankle. Many people usually try to not to look at accidents location, but I'm different. I wanna know. This is what we called busybody... But I'm busy

Next, suddenly a guy on a bike approach me. Carrying two (2) precious things at that time makes me extra alert. Hold tight my sling bag and look at him. Moreover, I was walking by the main road. And you people also know la... Snatch thief thing can happen anytime... Somemore in this busy city.

"Xiao jie, ching wen na ge ..... xue xiao, ni dong zai na li ma?"
"Har? Se mo xue xiao ah?"
"... xue xiao"
"Sorry ah... wo bu zi dao."
wahahaha... he approached the wrong person ad...
I'm KL Newbie... how will I know...
And actually, I also dun know what's the school name he was telling. Can't hear it properly.
Sounds like "xiao xue xiao" (crazy school)
Hmm.. it sounds so wrong... I guess, I just din hear it properly la...
But luckily nothing happens... But, he "pun satu". Suddenly break his bike beside me and ask me route. Make me "terkejut" also... Moreover, there were so many things playing in my mind at that time. Sigh... Anyway, thank god ntohing happened la. He just sped off after saying thank you!

Being very tired for these couple of days, since the Canon Asia Photography Marathon, this is the first time i make my decision to sit in the LRT. Cause usually if I'm alone, I'll prefer to stand.
Dun ask me why, that habit is born natural.
I sit and doze off a while.
By the time i reached Wangsa Maju LRT station, it's already 0945hours. Hmm, at last i made up my mind to rush back to my condo parking lot to take my car. It's a 5-10mins walk. Another walk.. Haiz... But have to lo.. Cause if not I've to take cab.
Is ok to take cab actually, but at that time, my purse contained a note of 50. Some taxi drive will make a lot of fuss us you pay them in such a big note. If the taxi driver good, never mind, he'll said, u give what small amount of money you have with you to him. But if a bad one, they'll ask you to seek for the small amount of money to pay him. He dun care if you rob or beg or change with someone.
That's why I take my car la... Already have to rush back from Malacca, I dun wanna get scolding for one stupid thing. That's why...

Wah, the weather was so sunny... Wearing my white hooded jacket from Malacca, I've got no time even to stop to take it out. I LRT, I forget about it cause it's air-conditioned, what...
So, can you imagine I walked back to my condo, under the hot sun and the jacket wrap my body?
I feel like I'm in oven, but I try not to think about it at that time. Cause I'm RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!

When i get my car, I checked my cellphone. Still not news on where is the "SEMINAR".
So I decided to call JC our course as well as class rep.

"Hello JC ah... Where is the seminar going to be held?"
"Where are you now?"
"I'm now back in Wangsa. Just reached."
"Erm... I'm sorry to tell you, I've got a bad news. The office made a mistake on the date. The "SEMINAR" is next week. Not this week."
"WHAT?!"

Oh... there it goes..... That's how my 031108 starts in KL....

SLYM Nite

2008-10-22T04:15:00.001+08:00

SNOW
Originally uploaded by Crazy G.A.Y

Tick tock, tick tock, looking at the clock. Wow, it's late. Being busy snapping here and there in my town during the day, I don't even have the time to stop to breath.

That's where suddenly my cutetest friend text me:
"What's the plan for tonight?"

Starring at my mobile screen, that's when only I recall I was suppose to come out with a plan. As usual, what most of you and I do, I replied:
"No worries! I already have a plan."

Yeah, I lied but not totally. Cause I have the rough idea earlier (few days back) but I just did not build up the process.

An hour more before the dateline (meeting my friends), I'm still doing some shopping with my mum and sis.

30 minutes left... That's the only time left. I just reached home. That's the only time for my brain to start cracking and build the plan of the night, to bath, to recharge my best friend (my camera), and to fill up my empty tummy! Sounds like time bomb doesn't it.

10 minutes before it ends, finally the plan complete. Phew... and

Ring...

Happily I told my friend the plan but then, as usual, nothing goes smoothly. There will be ,most of the time, there must be something that comes up to block your plan.

"What if she is going out with her boyfriend."
This is the sentence that gives me a big headache. Argh...!

How can I find out from the victim by not revealing the plan or even leak it or even give her the chance to smell the fishy plan. Oh no!!

Hmm... That very moment, I have to open up my "memory lane" of stories that I can used to assist me to dig out the answer from our victim. Nope! Nothing that I can use. That's where I've to create creative story to "hook" her to find out the answer.

The story telling session has just started and..

Ding dong... Time's up!!!!

Time to get into the car and off we go, telling people in the car the plan and yeah I ask the driver to make an U-turn back to my house (forget my camera)

Next we went to get the No 1 item and along the way I was still texting the "happenning story" to the victim.

Show one good sign: She's not going out with her boyfriend that night.

Comes another bad sign: She's having exam the next day. WHAT?! Exam on Sunday Morning! How unlucky!

I have to work harder then... Have to attract her attention for another four hours as well as not to distract her too much. Not an easy job aye..

Four more hours:

45mins:
look for parking spot (it's a Saturday nite! Hard to find parking in the town!)

2 hours:
watch movie (The Flying of The Living Dead- sound horror and it suppose to be, but we were having a good laugh in the cinema)

1 hr 15mins:
well.... start our journey to our victim's house but it was kinda early... So hang out at a nearby Mamak for supper!

11:15pm our victim send me:
"Update me your story next time la. I'm sleepy ad. Going to sleep soon"

Oh no!!!! I have to make her stay awake. Another 45mins... Argh...
What to do... try to feed her with more climax, and ask her more questions to keep her awake!

But I can no longer hold her attention. 15mins more before the time I called her.

"Hey gal. I'm now outside your house. Can you come out please."

"Huh? Aiyo, why? Wanna sleep ad."

"Dun care. You have to come out now! we are outside your house now."

All of us shout out her name outside her house.

As she step out the house, here comes the "melody" of Happy Birthday!

2? candles on 2? Rum Balls (No 1 item)
(not suppose to reveal the age without permission. Lady's biggest secret!)

Yeah! With her sleepy eyes, and blur face, she made a wish and blew the candles of course there's photography session. But everything we make it in fast pace. What to do! She got exam on SUNDAY MORNING!

However, as the planner, I kena cubit "kau-kau" from her la... For creating the stories which is full of lies. Cause she buy my story! But I just wanna say:

"Hey SLYM, if you read this, just wanna let you know that I have to do it cause, that's the only way to make my plan work. And that's the only way to surprise you!"

What was the "happening stories" that I told her?
That is also a big secret between the two of us!
That's my birthday gift to her!

2008-10-22T01:06:00.000+08:00

Never know why. The idea of starting with a blog comes into my mind. Suddenly I just feel like this is a way for me to share something with my friend. Just hope whoever read it will enjoy it.